Most teachers are willing to give advice to whomever asks for it. Or should that be whoever?

We just finished teaching a writing-process class to working adults. A bright, literate group of federal employees, including many who write regularly in their jobs. We didn’t stress grammar, but we did touch on some of the most-common problems. Like interchanging who and whom.

Here’s the first sentence in one exercise we used: “Give it to whoever/whomever asks for it.” How many got it right the first time?

None. Nobody. Not one.

Every one of them chose whomever.

Why? I think it’s because of the little word to that comes just before the pair of pronouns. When we get to that innocent preposition, we expect to find its object right after it. So we tend to think to whomever, using the object form. (Most of us know that we use who/whoever as subject of a verb, and whom/whomever as object.)

But the object isn’t the pronoun. It’s the whole clause (whoever asks for it).

How do we avoid such mistakes (or at least decrease them)? The best way we’ve found is to first find the verbs, then identify the subject of each verb.

So the first verb is Give, and its subject is you (understood). The second verb is asks. To find the subject you say “Who asks?” The answer gives you the subject: whoever.

That process of finding each verb, then its subject, will almost always help you choose the form you want. And as we’ve said before, you may want to simply avoid whom/whomever whenever you can. And you almost always can. Leave it out (of a sentence like We must respect the people whom we serve). Write around it (say something like Give it to anyone who asks).

We ourselves use tricks like that all the time, and never make mistakes. So I’m sure our advice will help you, whomever you may be.

(Just kidding.)

So now you choose with more confidence, and more wisely. And please don’t be unkind to those who fall into the trap of using the wrong form. It can happen to anybody—including you and me.